Pschologists claim that counterfactual thinking (the tendency to envision alternatives to reality through the review of past events) is useful as an analytical tool in many organizational settings. Undoubtly, this setting does not qualify for even the loosest definition of anything organized but please consider these hypothesizing complaints...

(1) They could have and should have cast Vanity in a Rambo movie.

In the 1980's, Denise Matthews was the perfect temptress for any action movie. The world knew her as Vanity and she was too cool to be a mere doormat in Purple Rain. This beautiful and dangerous Canadian woman could hang with the wildest musicians in the Rainbow Bar and Grill crowd and made terrible films such as Never Too Young to Die, The Last Dragon and Action Jackson worth watching on cable. No tigress on earth could match her purr during the Miami Vice appearance and she was fantastic as the bad girl in 52 Pickup. Vanity would have been the ultimate bad ass in Rambo II breaking bones with karate kicks, schooling some smart mouth bitch with a beat down, throwing knifes, wrecking cars and blowing up stuff with Italian-American alpha male Sylvester Stallone.

(2) KISS could have and should have remained relevant.

They hit the psyche of post-Vietnam American teenage suburbia in 1976. Working with Eddie Kramer gave them rock and roll credibility and doing Destroyer with Bob Ezrin gave them musical chops.

If they had avoided overexposure and retained the element of mystery (i.e., Pink Floyd, ABBA, Led Zeppelin, etc.) Gene and his associates would not be lumped in with the Star Trek crowd today. They jumped the shark with the release of Love Gun and went from cool to cheesy overnight. Any of their original fan base offering a chance of redemption were offended with the dismal solo albums and the terrible made-for-television movie. They delivered the final insult (for anyone still along for the ride) with 1979's absolutely horrendous Dynasty album. Not even a stack of Marshall amplifiers the length of their arena stage could restore their cool credential after releasing the disco album. Until this point of their tenure, Ace Frehley had always recorded amazing DiMarzio pickup tones from his Les Paul but the tracks on this rip-off piece of disco plastic were as dull as a napkin, not a pinch of distortion from the guitars in the mix. Maybe the boys should have should have concentrated on music instead of marketing?

(3) K-Mart could have and should have destroyed the plague known as Wal-Mart.

K-Mart dismissed the growth in secondary markets until it was too late. Walton's bunch of yahoos have always been a flock of vultures but the big red K could have put up a fight once the un-American creeps from Arkansas started building the superstores. Today, the punks at Citibank own Sears which owns what is left of poor ol' K-Mart and it is only a matter of time before all three of these miserable organizations die and go to hell.

(4) Frank Zappa could have and should have produced Ted Nugent.

Tenacious Ted peaked at the Cal Jam II with Double Live Gonzo in the stores and never molded a piece of wax that matched it. Zappa could have added some depth to the old boy and the world would never had to suffer through State of Shock and Wango Tango.

(5) NBC could have and should have never replaced Tom Snyder.

Anything I know relating to personal communication skills come from watching Tom Snyder on the Tomorrow Show. He could make people from all walks of life feel comfortable enough to speak candidly in front of the world. There has never been a more entertaining interviewer on television but he was shrewd enough to realize the guest should be the focus of the conversation. There was never a need for loud graphics or the distraction of an audience on his show.

(6) Coca-Cola could have and should have stayed in glass bottles.

You could taste the difference as soon as they stopped using bottles. How much money is saved using plastic? It must have been part of the larger illuminati conspiracy to unleash the high fructose corn syrup nightmare on the world--you would think that Henry Kissinger and all his mud wrestling buddies at the Bohemian Grove would have better ideas.

(7) Raquel Welch could have and should have made a decent film.

Welch is arguably the most beautiful woman God ever put on this earth but it is absolutely tragic that she never starred in a good movie. This auburn amazon caught the world's attention in Fantastic Voyage and her screen presence in The Magic Christian and Bedazzled establish her reputation as the queen of supporting roles. She was more than adequate at riding shotgun for the big boys such as Frank Sinatra (in Lady in Cement), Jimmy Stewart and Dean Martin (in Banderlero!) but never nailed down a really great flick of her own. Fathom was an absolutely idiotic excuse to sell tickets at the movie house and Kansas City Bomber was a soap opera on 35 mm film that just didn't make it. The 1971 spaghetti western Hannie Caulder was her best work.

(8) Rick Derringer could have and should have joined Utopia.

When you think of all the great guitar sounds Todd Rundgren recorded with his buddy Rick Derringer (Bat Out of Hell, etc.) at the old Bearsville studio, it would have made perfect sense for the Runt to add Derringer as a fifth member of his band.

(9) Eisenhower could have and should have let Khrushchev visit Disneyland.

It's understandable that Uncle Sam did not need some smelly communist stinking up the amusement park, but this jabroni was a drunken madman. It has been argued that any civilized human being should respect President Eisenhower for warning us of the evil intent of those pulling the strings behind the military industrial complex as he was heading out the door, but Ike should have let the clown from Russia screw around with Mickey Mouse for a few days and we could have avoided the Cold War.

(10) Elvis could have and should have married Ann Margaret.

They would have been the ultimate power couple. In retrospect, the princess got away--his biggest folly.

It has been said that she would have saved him, but there never would have been a scenario where he needed help if she was around Graceland. Is there anyone who believes Ms. Olsen would have put up with the yahoos living in the house? She would have thrown those clowns under the bus the day they poisoned Scatter the chimp.

They could have worked in films together when the musical muse needed a rest (anything would have been better than taking the Vegas routine to South Dakota) and if Colonel Tom did not like it they probably would have "lawyered-up" to get away from him or turned him in to the INS!

She is graceful and exudes class in the autumn of her life (you will not see her on any reality show)--they could have grown old together.

(11) Rick Wakeman could have and should have done something after Yes.

This man has too much talent to have just sat around counting his money for the majority of the last 30 years. Get a job, man!

(12) McDonald's could have and should have protected the art of the french fried potato.

In the early 1970's you could see workers at McDonald's slicing real potatoes before they were put into the fryer. Somewhere down the line it was "fries" instead of "french fried potatoes" on the menu. Today, that freak Ronald McDonald probably doesn't even know what these horrible things are molded from. They do not taste like real potatoes. There is an alternative--a new hamburger franchise called Five Guys and they have the decency to use 100% real potatoes.

(13) Ritchie Blackmore could have and should have worked with Jimi Jamison.

It is a shame that contractual obligations forced Jimi Jamison to decline an offer to join Deep Purple. Jamison's voice would have complimented Ritchie Blackmore's guitar better than any vocalist (Ian Gillian, Joe Lynn Turner, David Coverdale, Ronnie James Dio, etc.) he ever played with. If not with Deep Purple, Blackmore should have recruited Jamison for Rainbow...

(14) Someone could have and should have made the definitive concert movie.

Rainbow Bridge from Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin's movie The Song Remains the Same were worth watching at the Rock 103 midnight movies in the old Plaza theater in pre-VCR days, but the perfect concert movie has yet to make it to the big screen. Hard to Handle: Bob Dylan with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers is close to perfection. Australian film director Gillian Armstrong does amazing work, the cinematography and sound are the gold standard for everyone else to follow. You can sense the chemistry among the players and this is the perfect documentation of Dylan at his finest.

(15) Davy Crockett could have and should have stayed away from the Alamo.

You cannot fault him for telling the power brokers in Memphis to "go to hell" but the attempt to reinvent his political career in Texas was a bad idea. Did not Machiavelli warn of relying on reinforcements from people you do not know very well? If you care to get a little deeper than the Walt Disney coon skin hat caricature, "David Crockett: The Lion of the West" by Michael Wallis is a fantastic read.

(16) They could have and should have made a Batman movie in the late 1970's.

There have been a glut of Batman movies and they are miserable. Even Jack Nicholson could not save the audience from stupidity.

Nothing compares to the charm of the 1960's ABC television series that featured Adam West, Julie Newmar and Burt Ward. They were camp and it would have worked in drive-in theater in 1978. The world would have been grateful for an alternative to Grease!

Every stick figure that has ever been scribbled into a comic book has been franchised in a summer movie release over the last 20 years, but Hollywood really missed this sure fire cash cow. Someone would have been wise to make a film with the original television cast within the same time period of the Star Trek or Christopher Reaves-era Superman flicks.

(17) Ten Years After could have and should have hired a girl singer.

Woodstock hero Alvin Lee was one of the best rock/blues guitarists of his era, but not the greatest vocalist. Ten Years After would have been bigger than Led Zeppelin, the Who or the Jeff Beck Group if they had brought a charismatic lead singer into the fold and let Mr. Lee concentrate on bending strings. Claudia Lennear would have been the perfect choice.

(18) Carrie Stevens could have and should have married Eric Carr.

What man could not fall for the beautiful Memphis State maiden? It was obvious from their body language that these two were made for each other. It appears that her beauty is more than skin deep-she was loyal and stood with him until the end.

(19) Rocks could have and should have been the greatest album in the history of rock and roll.

The album artwork evoked icon status--the color scheme and font were hypnotic. There has never been a better opening track than "Back in the Saddle" and the New Orleans funk-through-a-Marshall sound of "Last Child" was the perfect follow-up. "Combination" is a worthy inclusion, "Nobody's Fault" has a cool chorus and "Home Tonight" is the perfect closer. It's not 100% solid, but it is close. There is still time left for the boys to record the Aerosmith magnum opus...but not much.

(20) Paul Rodgers could have and should have joined the Rossington-Collins band.

Someone in the Zeppelin circles told me that Peter Grant favored the American southern rock bands from the 1970's (in particular the Marshall Tucker Band and the Alabama State Troopers. Rumor had it that after the break-up of Bad Company the Skynyrd boys approached Rodgers to join their new band. Grant should have pushed him in this direction, it would have been great.

(21) Target could have and should have been huge.

They were the best guitar band to come out of Memphis in the 1970's and it is a shame they only recorded two albums for A&M. They were selling 3,000 tickets at local shows and drawing national attention opening for Black Sabbath, Kiss, Bob Seger and Robin Trower. If they had only been given one more shot...